we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
