How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
