omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
