is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
