I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
