Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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