I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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