What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
