I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
