Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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