brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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