I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
