remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
