Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I supernannyed him into submission
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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