i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
