Those balls look pretty dangerous.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
