My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
