you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
