this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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