Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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