I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
