you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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