how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
