party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
