i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
