we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
