i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
