My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
