nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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