did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
