Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
