Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
