Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
