I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
where are you?
Hypothermia
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
