Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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