Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
