he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
