white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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