I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
