i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
