Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
