Porn is love you can see.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
