I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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