Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize