super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
