i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i out mim tonsoeep
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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