Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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