its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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