HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
