Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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